


but I never thought I'd see you as I did today

by TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel



Series: Not yet The End verse [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 2014!verse, AU, Episode: s05e04 The End, Fix-It, Gen, Second Chances, The End Verse, because Dean and Cas in 'The End' broke my heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-31
Updated: 2012-10-31
Packaged: 2017-11-17 11:04:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/550870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel/pseuds/TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean owes Castiel the biggest fucking apology in the entire world, but how the hell do you apologise to the ex-angel you led to ruin and then left to suffer?</p>
            </blockquote>





	but I never thought I'd see you as I did today

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is a coda to Not Yet The End, but for those who haven't read that fic, this fic basically takes place in an AU of 'The End' verse. It's a bit over a year since Sam said yes to Lucifer and the apocalypse started. Right before this fic takes place, Dean and Castiel were given a way to kill Lucifer and possibly save Sam.
> 
> Also, the title of this fic comes from the song 'The Angels Hung Around' by Rilo Kiley, which inspired me to write this fic.

** but I never thought I’d see you as I did today **

* * *

Much later, after the planning how to kill Lucifer was done, Dean went to find Castiel.

He was where Dean had half-expected him to be, out on the shitty little jetty down on their sad excuse for a lake.

Dean walked forward and sat next to him, almost close enough for their shoulders to touch.

He felt Cas glance at him, and stared down at his knees. God, this was hard.

It wasn’t like he didn’t know what he’d been doing, this past year: it was just that nothing seemed to matter all that much next to Sam, and Dean had deliberately closed his eyes to anything else.

And Castiel – he’d been learning how to be human, in pretty much the worst circumstances possible, and Dean had taught him more about misery and bitterness and pain than anything else. 

And now that Dean finally had a chance to look at something beyond Sam, beyond grief and failure, he found that he was sorry.

Seemed he’d spent half his life full of regret, but he never stopped giving himself reasons to feel it.

“I’ve been an asshole,” Dean told his knees, and waited.

There was a moment of silence.

“I’m not going to disagree.”

“No,” said Dean. “No, that’s not–” He took a deep breath. “God, if you hated my guts right now, I couldn’t blame you for it.”

There was quiet by his side, and he finally risked a glance at Cas.

Cas was staring out at the water, the look in his eyes saying that he wasn’t really seeing it, their expression distant, and his mouth twisted.

Castiel had become so human, and somehow Dean had missed the moment of transition.

He’d ruined an honest-to-God _angel_ , and he still didn’t know what to do with that, anymore than he had when it had first happened.

“I couldn’t hate you if I wanted to,” Cas said at last. “You’re Dean Winchester. I raised you from Perdition and watched you defy all of Heaven for what was right. I gave everything for you.”

“I know,” Dean said, because he did. He didn’t know what to do with that, either.

“I’m sorry,” said Dean. “God, Cas, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t worth it.”

“Maybe.” Cas was giving Dean that considering, penetrating stare that gave Dean a sharp pain in his chest, the way a glimpse of the old, angelic Castiel always did. “But you could be, I think. If you tried.”

Dean stared into blue, not quite able to believe it, but Castiel just stared back, completely serious, despite the ironic twist to his mouth.

Cas knew damn well he was probably setting himself up for further disappointment, but he was still giving Dean a second chance anyway. Giving Dean another chance to hurt him, because somehow the damn ex-angel still believed in Dean. Maybe only a little, but enough.

Dean swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat, his eyes stinging. He didn’t deserve it, but he was done throwing everything back in Castiel’s face. Cas was the best man he’d ever known, and it was about time Dean treated him like it.

“I’ll try,” Dean promised, because he owed Cas so much more than that, but he could at least promise that much. “I’ll try, Cas, I swear to you.”

Castiel didn’t say anything, but he shifted, and when he finished moving his shoulder was pressed up against Dean’s, warm and human.

They sat there in the evening air, and nothing more was said.


End file.
